


The Lies We Tell

by chothocolate



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bisexual Remus Lupin, Fluff and Humor, Gay Sirius Black, Hogwarts Sixth Year, Just Boys being dudes, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Marauders Friendship (Harry Potter), POV Sirius Black, Sirius Black & James Potter Friendship, brief (and i mean brief) bit of angst, but really its just a silly fun story, lots of pining, mostly - Freeform, of the boys being silly, sexual tension through the roof in this one, sirius is dumb - hilarity ensues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-24
Updated: 2020-08-16
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:48:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25496341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chothocolate/pseuds/chothocolate
Summary: Remus rolled his eyes, grinning and holding back a laugh, “Why would they let a werewolf of all things into Hogwarts of all places?”The last thing Sirius expected Remus Lupin to do when confronted about being a werewolf was to laugh in his face and deny everything, but that’s exactly what happened. Remus is lying and Sirius knows it, and he’ll do whatever it takes to get the truth out of him.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 21
Kudos: 79





	1. Chapter 1

_Sirius Black was confident in his knowledge of all things Remus Lupin. Years of living with him and watching him go about his daily life has given Sirius a thorough understanding of the other boy. If there were ever a Remus Lupin-themed pub quiz, Sirius was absolutely certain he could score close to full marks. Sirius had never been one for lists, but if he were asked to list the most important things about Remus Lupin, he could narrow it down to the following five things._

_1\. Remus Lupin was smart. Not just academically, though the boy did trounce his fellow Marauders in (almost) all subjects. No, Remus Lupin was smart in a worldly kind of way, he understood people well and was good at talking - words came easy to Remus in a way that Sirius could never muster. He was the mastermind behind the Marauders pranks, and the entire reason the three boys hadn’t been expelled. Remus Lupin was smart in every way Sirius was not and then some._

_2\. Remus Lupin was intimidating. Strangely so, in fact you wouldn’t know it to look at him. Remus was all honey-coloured curls and oversized jumpers and soft (and often mischievous) smiles. He was tall, the tallest of the Marauders by almost a head, but skinny and almost weedy looking. But Remus was intimidating because he was smart and sharp-tongued and vulgar in just the right way. His glares were powerful and silencing and, if you pissed him off enough (as Sirius often had) he packed one hell of a punch._

_3\. Remus Lupin was bisexual. And everybody knew it. While his exploits around the school weren’t infamous like Sirius and James’, they also weren’t secret. Nobody would ever call Remus Lupin a poof - partially due to number 2 on the list, and partially because that was just Remus. This point was also very convenient as Sirius Black was very gay and very, very much in love with Remus Lupin - but more on that later._

_4\. Remus Lupin was a werewolf. He had no idea that his friends knew this, nor did he know that they had spent years working towards becoming animagi to support him. He certainly didn’t know that they had known for years, but were just waiting for the right moment to tell him. So Remus continued to be a werewolf and continued to lie about his whereabouts every month and the rest of the Marauders continued to act ignorant to his cyclical disappearances._

_This brings us nicely to number five on the list of Important Things About Remus Lupin:_

_5\. Remus was a damn good liar: something Sirius wouldn’t come to find out until a cold November night in his sixth year._

“Remus, mate.” James had to be the one to say this, it was just _right_ , Sirius was no good at talking about delicate things. And this was a very delicate thing. “We know you’re a werewolf, Moony. And-”

From his spot on the windowsill, Remus audibly snorted, taking a long drag of the cigarette in his hands before turning to face his friends. “Is _that_ what you lot came up with? A werewolf? Really?” He rolled his eyes, grinning and holding back a laugh. “Why would they let a werewolf of all things come to Hogwarts of all places? That’s just asking for trouble!”

Sirius frowned, turning to James for backup, but the boy had the same flabbergasted expression on his face. There was simply no way they had been wrong about this, they had spent years watching his behaviour, tracking his disappearances and researching the symptoms. It all added up perfectly. There was simply _no way_ they had been wrong! Tonight was supposed to be the night they would show their animagus forms, tell Remus their plan to support him in his transformations and blow him away with their supportive friendship and camaraderie. This was _also_ going to be the moment that Sirius would dazzle Remus with his caring and compassion and commitment, make the boy fall in love with him and the pair would shag into the sunset. 

At least that was the _plan._ But now everything was thrown out of motion because _apparently_ they had been wrong all along and Remus _apparently_ wasn’t a werewolf. Sirius scowled, how could Remus lie to their faces like this?! For what! But Moony’s expression looked so earnest that a small part of him suspected that maybe, just maybe, they had been wrong all along.

“But-” Peter stuttered, breaking the long silence. That amused ‘Godric-you’re-all-idiots’ expression was still on Remus’ face. “But why do you always disappear on full moons then?”

“What? No I don’t.” Remus frowned, stubbing out his cigarette. “I was gone for a few days just last week and I’m pretty sure that wasn’t a full moon.”

James groaned, twisting his hair between his hands - a bad habit, really. “Why are you so strong then? You punch _really_ fucking hard! Inhuman strength: that’s a werewolf thing!”

“Why do I punch so hard?” Moony laughed, “Because you lot are really fucking annoying, maybe? Equal opposite reactions, mate.”

“What about the scar on your face then?”

“Pete… all of you. I appreciate you trying to give me a more interesting tragic backstory but you’re just wrong on this one. I got scratched by a kneazle as a kid, you know that. Fucking _everybody_ knows that. I’m just boring old Remus, hate to disappoint.”

Sirius felt a scowl forming on his face. He _knew_ Remus was lying, he had to be. Their years of extensive research, difficult potion brewing and mother-hen like concern wasn’t for nothing. But he couldn’t bring himself to say anything, the only words he had planned for the night were more along the lines of “Ta-Da!” and “Snog me Moony.” And now his opportunity to say either of those things had been taken from him. And there was Moony, standing before them, holding his pack of cigarettes with that bloody beautiful left hand of his and fisting his tie with that gorgeous right hand of his when he _should_ have been using those hands to swoon, or cover his mouth in shock, or grab Sirius’ hair while they snogged. Sirius was well and truly pissed off, and became even more so when he glanced over and saw the resigned looks of James and Peter’s faces.

“I hate to cut this short,” Remus said, looking genuinely apologetic and guilty, “but I do actually have prefect duty tonight, so I’ve gotta go. I’ll-” he paused in the doorway, laughing quietly to himself, “I’ll howl at the moon if I need a hand.” And with that, Remus let out a genuine laugh, shutting the door behind him and leaving three dejected animagus in complete and stifling silence.

“What the fuck.” James eventually broke the silence, slumping down on his bed.

“We were so certain…” Peter sighed.

Sirius felt his scowl deepen as he moved to join James on his bed. “He’s lying, I know it.”

He felt James’ sigh before he heard it. The kind of deep, world-weary, body shifting sigh that could only come from the lips of a pureblood with a strong inclination towards the dramatic. Across the room, Peter echoed the same sigh, and Sirius too felt himself drawn into it. And so they stayed, three purebloods practically bathing in the injustice of it all. Two years of work down the gutter, and a friend who was most-likely-but-maybe-not a werewolf.

“Are you sure he’s lying, Sirius?” Peter asked, pausing from his sigh for a moment. “He seemed pretty sure of himself.”

Sirius sighed deeper, “ _Yes,_ I’m sure. I know Remus better than the rest of you tossers do and I’m _telling_ you he’s lying! There’s not a chance in hell he’s just been coincidentally vanishing on every full moon for the past five years, and I bet the wanker knows how bloody weak his argument is too!”

“I don’t know, Sirius. Maybe we just cocked it up on this one.” James’ contribution only served to draw a deeper sigh out of Sirius, “We’ve watched Moony lie to us about _something_ all this time, and he’s done a pretty shite job of it if we saw through it by second year. He’s a pretty shitty liar, Pads. Maybe we just came to the wrong conclusion.”

“Merlin’s saggy bollocks, can you two hear yourselves?!” Sirius sat up straighter, “It wasn’t on a bloody _whim_ we decided to do all of this! We were _certain!_ I still am certain! Moony is a werewolf! Nothing else makes sense for him!”

“Maybe it’s something else.” James said.

“Maybe he’s a vampire!” Peter added.

Sirius got up, stringing off every expletive he could think of. “I’m right! I know I’m right! And I’m going to fucking get it out of him eventually, even if it takes veritaserum to do it I _know_ I’m right about this, Prongs! I know we didn’t do all of this shit for nothing!” He moved from James’ bed to Remus’, lying down and crossing his arms in a huff. “I don’t give a fuck what you pair of pillocks think, I’m right about this and when I get it out of him I’m gonna-” _snog his handsome face off, then maybe kill him for lying,_ Sirius finished in his head. 

“Pads just don’t-” James hesitated, “Don’t bug him too much. If it is something else, I want him to trust us enough to tell us himself, y’know?”

Sirius pouted, _not a werewolf my ass, Remus Lupin you sneaky fuck._

“I mean it Pads, don’t bug him too much.”

“Fuck off, Prongs.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to split this chapter in two. They tried to put it on the cover of vogue, but it was toooooo long.

_ Remus Lupin was a creature of habit and the Marauders, for all their impulsiveness, were a well oiled machine. They had rituals, things that always happened in the same way and Sirius liked things like that. For example, he liked the way Remus would enter the dorm at exactly 5:25 every weekday once lessons were over. Sirius liked this because it gave him and Moony exactly 90 minutes alone in the dorm before James returned from Quidditch practice and Peter came to usher everyone to dinner. _

_ But the Marauder ritual Sirius liked best came about every Friday. Pads and Moony had their 90 minutes in the dorm and then, at 6:55 James and Pete returned to the dorm as always. But rather than going to dinner, the group would gather on the floor with firewhiskey and Honeydukes chocolate and drink themselves silly and plot the following week of mischief. _

_ Friday nights were the perfect nights, in Sirius’ opinion. Perfect for planning pranks, perfect for Marauder unity and perfect for convincing your best mate to stop lying and admit to being a werewolf. Which is exactly what Sirius intended to do. _

Sirius, for all his plotting and scheming, was huffing. And had no intention to stop huffing until Moony ‘fessed up. Because Moony hated it when Sirius huffed, and would usually do his best to stop Sirius’ huffing in his tracks. Sometimes this involved Remus telling Sirius to stop being a spoilt arse and grow up - which Sirius didn’t mind and found really rather attractive - and sometimes it involved Remus stroking Sirius’ hair until he felt better, which Sirius  _ really  _ didn’t mind one bit, quite the opposite actually. As 5:25 drew closer and Sirius anticipated Moony’s arrival in the dorm, his huff deepened, and so too did his resolve to get Moony to tell the bloody truth already and stop being such a big girl’s blouse. Sirius may have been huffing, but he was huffing with a plan.

“You know it defeats the purpose if you throw a strop on  _ my  _ bed.” Sirius jolted, having not even heard Moony come in. But there he was, pretty golden eyes dancing with amusement and his tie already half undone, displaying a seductive few centimeters of collarbone. 

“If I huff on my bed you’ll ignore me and go about your day, Moony.” Sirius said, folding his arms and looking up at Remus indignantly. “ _ Clearly  _ I’m here for attention.” He said in his best pureblood drawl.

“You have my full attention, Pads. Why are you in such a tizzy?” Moony plonked down on the bed next to Sirius, pulling off his tie and carding his hands into the other boy’s hair.

Sirius did his best to suppress the full-body shiver that ran down his spine, strengthening his resolve. He refused to let Moony and his salacious collarbones, smooth voice and attentive hands get in the way of his plan. It was one thing to be arse-over-tit in love with your best mate, but quite another to let said love get in the way of your dastardly plans. Sirius wasn’t having it, and he did his best to push aside that strong urge to grab Remus by the face and-

“Humph.” Sirius humphed, deepening his scowl but leaning further into Remus’ hand, which had found its way deeper into Sirius’ long hair.

“You know it  _ also  _ defeats the purpose if you sulk for attention but don’t tell me why you’re sulking, Pads.” 

Sirius humphed louder, “Do you know what would make me feel better? If you grabbed that bottle of firewhiskey I  _ know  _ you have in your nightstand and we start drinking early.”

Moony huffed out a laugh, leaning over to grab the bottle from the nightstand, “You know back in the day they used to cut thieves’ hands off to stop them stealing. It’s only a matter of time before you get the same treatment for going through my stuff all the time, you mangy mutt.”

“Ah, but you love my hands really, Moons.” Sirius grinned, snatching the bottle, “All the better to-”

“Bother me endlessly with?”

“Exactly!”

Alcohol made everyone a little more loose-lipped, Sirius figured, taking a swig from the bottle before passing it over to Moony. Sure, it was probably a little unethical to get your mates drunk so that they tell you their secrets, but Sirius was willing to overlook this minor transgression in the name of the greater good. If Remus would just  _ tell  _ Sirius he was a werewolf then the Marauders could start helping him with his transformations, improving his quality of life and making the world an overall better place. By that logic, it would be wrong for Sirius  _ not  _ to get Moony drunk enough to admit that he was a little more wolfy than your average lad. Yes, Sirius nodded to himself, he was doing the right thing.

By the time the bottle of firewhiskey was over half empty, Sirius began to see the small problem in his plan. He couldn’t get Remus drunk without getting himself a little more than tipsy in the process; Remus matched Sirius drink-for-drink the entire way through the bottle and, while Sirius was no lightweight, his tolerance wasn’t  _ quite  _ as high as Moony’s. Remus was by no means sober, but Sirius quickly realised that alcohol truly did make  _ everyone  _ a little more loose-lipped, and he was no exception.

“Moony you have very pretty eyes.” Sirius faked a long sip from the bottle before passing it to Remus and hoping the other boy wouldn’t notice.

“Shut up, Pads you big fruit.” Moony laughed, taking a long, definitely real drink.

“No, I mean it. They’re very pretty.” Sirius sat up, looking deeply into Remus’ eyes. “They’re like… they’re like… I don’t know what they’re like but they’re pretty.”

“How romantic.” Sirius scowled as Prongs entered the room, sighing and clutching at his heart dramatically. In all honesty, it was the intrusion more than the mockery that earned Prongs the scowl: Sirius was very romantic thank you very much, just not with nearly a litre of firewhisky in him.

“I can’t believe you prats started without us!” Wormtail piped up, entering the dorm behind Prongs.

“It couldn’t be helped. Pads was sulking.” Moony grinned, taking another swig, clearly no longer caring to share the bottle with Sirius. 

“Well in that case we’ll just have to drink up to catch up, ay Wormy?”

Prongs was excitable to a fault, he treated every occasion he met like it was Christmas morning and he opened a box to find a nude and affectionate Lily Evans. Much like Sirius, everything was a competition first and something to think through second and it didn’t take long before the boy was knocking back shots of firewhiskey like Orion Black after a long day. Even Wormtail, the one Marauder best known for being able to hold his drink like a champ, got more and more wobbly as the night went on, feeling the effects of the firewhiskey that had gripped his friends.

“How about,” Sirius slurred, not moving his head from Remus’ lap. “How about a little game of truth or dare?” This was it. This was his master plan to get Moony to admit what Sirius  _ knew  _ to be the truth; with more than a little alcohol in his system, there was absolutely no way Moony could continue to lie. It was genius, really. Definitely foolproof and almost guaranteed to be successful. Sirius couldn’t help but pat himself on the back for his genius when he came up with the idea.

“What’s the point in that?” Wormy drawled, “We already know way too much about each other, I think. How about gobstones?”

Sirius glared. Hard. Hoping beyond hope that Wormtail could hear Sirius calling him an idiot through some kind of drunken legilimency. He glanced over at Prongs, who was giving Peter the same intense stare, clearly having cottoned on to Sirius’ plan. The glares continued for a few seconds longer before Wormtail let out a quiet ‘“Oh.” under his breath, finally catching on.

“Actually, truth or dare sounds great, eh Moony?” Peter backtracked, shooting Sirius an apologetic smile.

“What? Sure, whatever.” Remus barely looked up from the cigarette he was focusing intensely on rolling. If asked, Sirius would’ve swore on everything he had that he saw a momentary look of panic on the other boy’s face but unfortunately nobody was asking Sirius, and Remus’ focused expression returned almost as quickly as it left.

“So Moony, truth or dare?” Sirius’ smile turned wicked, and the game began.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really, these notes are just for my headcanons at this point: Sirius is a himbo.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know a game of truth or dare is a very unoriginal plot point, but much like Sirius Black, your humble author is a bit of an idiot.

_ The problem with Remus Lupin was that he was simply too perfect. Of course, if asked, Remus Lupin himself would disagree with this, claiming instead that he had enough character flaws to fill a novel. But Remus Lupin was not an expert on Remus Lupin like Sirius was.  _

_ For example, how would Remus know that when he was drunk his cheeks flushed in a way that would have looked dorky on anyone else, but perfectly offset the stark white stripes of Remus’ facial scars? Who but Sirius could point out that, while Remus smoked like a chimney, it was not in a ‘teenage rebellion’ type of way, but instead just served to make him seem almost sage-like and wise.  _

_ Sirius knew without a doubt that Remus was perfect, but this perfection was a problem. Because perfect Remus Lupin kept foiling Sirius’ fucking plans. _

Sirius sighed. Again. As for the fourth time that night, Remus chose dare. He had already hung out of the window of the dorm (and was rather attractively unfazed by the 30 metre drop to the ground), asked Dorcas Meadowes on a date (and got a  _ yes _ of all things), and even transfigured his bed into an irritatingly perfect (albeit slightly red) moose, which was now walking around the dorm. 

“Moony, this is no fun at all, pick truth for Godric’s sake!” James groaned, his entire body tilting concerningly to the left.

“Fiiiine, truth.” Remus sighed.

“Where do you go every month,  _ really?”  _ Wormtail, clearly the most sober in the room, asked. He leant eagerly towards Remus, mirroring his friends’ hungry expressions.

“I go to visit my mother.” Moony’s voice was  _ too  _ even, Sirius narrowed his eyes. “She’s sick.”

Prongs let out his longest, most despairing pureblood sigh, mirrored closely by Sirius. Peter simply tutted, taking a sip of firewhiskey and a bite of a chocolate frog, all in one mouthful. 

“What’s wrong with her?” Peter shot out between chews.

“Muggle disease.” 

“Which one?” Sirius asked.

“As  _ if  _ you know a thing about muggle diseases.”

“Try me.”

“Leukemia.” Fuck. Sirius didn’t know that one, and his silence gave it away.

Remus snorted, “Picking truth in truth or dare is no fun if you’re not interesting, sorry lads.”

Sirius frowned, there Remus went again. Blatantly lying with far too much confidence  _ and  _ looking good doing it. It was unfair. Remus was so utterly perfect that he saw right through Sirius’ plan to get him drunk. Or maybe Moony just wasn’t drunk enough; he was a swot, after all, and had said things like  _ “I don’t want to get too drunk, I have prefect duty tomorrow”  _ even though tomorrow was a Saturday and Remus  _ deserved  _ to get absolutely trollied. Maybe they were overeager, maybe they had asked that fateful question just a little too early in the night, before Remus was good and drunk enough to confess.

And so, Sirius decided, the only logical thing to do was to continue drinking, and continue getting Moony to drink, and eventually the confession would fall right from his lips. Sirius was far too drunk to care about the morality of such a thing, and was definitely far too absorbed in looking at Remus’ pretty flushed cheeks and the deep dimples that indented them to care about much of anything, really. If Remus wanted to keep on lying, Sirius would just have to keep on working to get the truth out of him, he had waited long enough, a little longer wouldn’t kill him. 

And so the game continued, Prongs’ skin was tinted a rather unflattering shade of orange with even less flattering green hair after an attempt at asking Evans out again. Evans and Moony seemed to find that hilarious, saying he looked like an oompy-doompy, or something equally ridiculous. Wormtail was rather laboriously casting hair-growth spells on himself after being dared to shave his head and Sirius had only just stopped speaking in rhyme after being challenged to create a spell on the fly. He had been  _ hoping  _ for some kind of veritaserum spell that he could later use on an unsuspecting Moony, but had no such luck.

Even Moony, who after much prodding from Sirius had given up on his pact to not get unreasonably drunk in the name of prefect duty, ended up a little worse for wear. His hair was sticking up at all angles after some electrocution-related truth or dare shenanigans and his body, usually so composed, was a lot more floppy than usual. Which is how Sirius found himself with a very intoxicated Remus Lupin leaning a little too seductively across his lap.

“Dare.” Moony grinned, lighting a cigarette.

“I dare you… I dare you to show us more of your cool scars.” Sirius smirked, tweaking the collar of Remus’ shirt. It was a bold move, and more than partially just a ploy to see a little more Remus-skin than he was currently getting, but surely Moony couldn’t explain away the scars Sirius  _ knew  _ he had as little more than a childhood kneazle attack. 

Sirius’ smirk dropped quickly off his face as he looked down at the boy leaning across his lap. Remus’ expression changed, his eyes darkened and his gaze on Sirius intensified. The look on Remus’ face was almost sinful, as his eyes flickered down to Sirius’ lips momentarily, it was fleeting, but Sirius could almost feel the lingering touch from Remus’ eyes. It was as if the room was empty. Nothing could draw Sirius’ eyes away from Remus’ and he swore that in that moment everything he had ever felt for Remus was reciprocated.

He gasped silently as he felt a soft hand grip the back of his neck, and Remus’ face came closer to his. With an exhale, Remus let the smoke pool between their faces, his breath was hot and the smell was intoxicating. It was a mix of firewhiskey and cigarettes and  _ Remus.  _ Sirius felt his heart in his throat. He had no idea what switch he had flipped in Remus that had provoked this sudden change, but this side of Remus, this sensual and seductive side of his friend was really,  _ really  _ doing it for him. 

Sirius shivered as Remus’ lips brushed against his ear, “Padfoot,” Sirius froze, that tone was absolutely sinful, “are you trying to get me naked, you sneaky little shirtlifter?” Remus’ whole face changed, a smirk grew on his lips but Sirius was far too enamoured with the thought of Remus’ lips to think of much of anything.

“Uh… I-” There was no room for coherent thought in Sirius’ head. The concept of words had long since failed him and all that was left was confusion, arousal and the distinct feeling that he had been played somehow, but he couldn’t quite figure out how.

“Well you’re gonna have to try harder than that.” Remus moved his hand from the back of Sirius’ neck, using it instead to slap him gently on the face, before getting up and moving towards his bed. The change in tone was like night and day. Sirius couldn’t really figure out  _ what  _ exactly had happened or why. The only certainty in his head was that if he didn’t get to hear that tone of voice again, or see those darkened, sensual eyes again, he would go insane and then promptly die. Sirius hadn’t moved from his spot, but was distinctly feeling the lack of Remus on his lap, or on the back of his neck, and was mourning the loss of Remus-lips on his ear, he felt a pout beginning to form on his face.

“I don’t know about you fellas, but I’m beat.” Remus piped up from behind him, climbing into bed. “And you fuckers got me way more drunk than I wanted to get, I really  _ do  _ have prefect duty tomorrow.”

“Mate…” Sirius was snapped out of his stupor by the confused voice of Prongs, with a confused face to match it. 

And that one word was all it took for the enormity of Remus’ actions to hit him. Remus fucking Lupin had dodged the dare! His wonderfully arousing face and sensual voice and soft hands and those  _ lips  _ and that smoke had all been a ploy to duck out of having to show his scars! This was the problem with Remus Lupin: he was simply too perfect, and Sirius couldn’t resist him. And Sirius certainly couldn’t resist him when he came at him with those bedroom eyes, the sneaky shit. 

A small part of Sirius couldn’t help but wonder whether Moony knew  _ just  _ how effective his little distraction technique had been on Sirius. He couldn’t decide if it was anxiety or excitement that bubbled around in his stomach at the thought of Moony being privy to Sirius’ little… crush. But if Moony  _ did  _ know, he clearly had no problem weaponising it (not that Sirius minded all that much) and would happily use it to his advantage in  _ ruining Sirius’ fucking plans. _

But Sirius had unlocked a key to Moony’s secret, and that key was the scars. Moony’s outright refusal to let Sirius see his scars was incriminating. More than incriminating. It was practically proof. If he could just get Moony to show him them, or catch a sight of them himself, then surely Remus would confess. Sirius was drunk. Sirius was very sexually frustrated, and regular frustrated too. But at least Sirius had a plan.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's a double update!
> 
> please don't hesitate to kudos and comment, with every piece of engagement i receive my ego grows and i become more powerful.

_ If anyone were to ask Sirius what exactly he liked about Remus Lupin, the answer they would get would be filled with expletives and words like ‘snoggable’, ‘shaggable’ and ‘fucking irresistible’. The answer would be colourful and much too vulgar for polite company. Because Sirius Black was unrelentingly dramatic about everything, and liking Remus Lupin was absolutely no exception. _

_ But if one were to ask Sirius what he  _ **_loved_ ** _ about Remus Lupin, the answer would be very different. Sirius would talk at length about the way the first words out of Remus’ mouth every morning were almost always some variation of “fucking hell”, as if he was surprised to be awake. He would gush over Remus’ awkward posture, the uncertain way he carried the long limbs he seemingly hadn’t grown into yet; he would describe Remus’ nose, slightly too long and angular for his face but peppered with freckles and marred with scars, giving his every expression character that was so uniquely Remus. He would spare no detail in describing the way that Remus’ eyes lit up with excitement at the sight of a new book, or a bar of chocolate, or the solution to a difficult arithmancy problem. Sirius would swear emphatically that Remus’ short temper was endearing, and that the boys’ sometimes hot and cold nature only made him love him more. Remus was overanxious and all-too-willing to repress his emotions, turning to indifference and apathy over emotional outbursts like Sirius. Yet despite all of this, Sirius loved everything there was to love about Remus Lupin. _

_ Well, almost everything. Remus became a real bitch when he was hungry. _

“Pads, I swear to Merlin I’m going to skin you alive.” Remus growled from across the dining table, making Sirius bite back a grin. Something about riling Remus up was almost intoxicating. Maybe it was because Sirius was so used to Moony being all too measured in his responses to everything that he couldn’t help himself but poke the bear (or, more fittingly, the wolf). 

“I’m not doing anything wrong, Moony,” Sirius grinned, taking a big bite in the stolen slice of toast in his hand. “Just helping myself to breakfast.” Beside him, James snorted into his cup of coffee, before shooting a fearful glance at Remus and schooling his expression.

“Five galleons Moony breaks his arm before the end of breakfast.” James muttered into Wormtail’s ear, earning a laugh from the smaller boy and a scowl from the hungry boy in question.

Sirius tried very hard not to pat himself on the back too prematurely. This particular facet of the plan to get Moony to admit to his wolfiness was perhaps the most high-risk, but perhaps the most entertaining. Even hungover Sirius found himself in awe of his own genius.

“If you keep taking my food-” Remus breathed in deeply, his tone sweetening in that special way only repressed rage can. “If you keep taking my food I cannot be held accountable for my actions, Sirius Black.”

Sirius’ grin turned into a smirk as he reached his fork over to the other boys’ plate, reaching for a piece of bacon without tearing his eyes away from Remus’. But his hand’s all too hasty retreat was interrupted by a very firm grip around his wrist. Sirius’ eyes widened as the grip Remus had around his wrist tightened even more, and he tried not to wince.

“What part of stop touching my fucking food didn’t you get, Pads?” Sirius gulped, unsure whether he was more afraid or more turned on by the anger in his friend’s voice. He glanced down at his hand, still holding the fork with the stolen bacon on it, and still being held in Moony’s surprisingly vice-like grip. 

“Point made, Moony.” Sirius smiled, working to keep his tone neutral. Sirius supposed he deserved this, provoking a hungry Moony was never a good idea at the best of times, but provoking a hungover, hungry Moony was a death wish. He was certain that, if he were anyone else (or rather if Moony were anyone else) he would have been more likely flung across the Great Hall for trying to make away with Remus’ breakfast. But Sirius was Sirius, and Remus was Remus. And even though his wrist was killing him and even though he was being annoying on purpose, Sirius couldn’t help but feel a little proud of himself for a job well done.

Sirius dropped the fork with a clatter, feeling all too smug and proud of himself as Moony loosened his grip on his wrist, rubbing a small circle around the joint and staring intensely at the red ring that was forming around his wrist. Sirius shivered at the gentle touch, staring holes into the top of Remus’ head.

“That’s going to bruise like a bitch.” Remus said.

“Hardly,” Sirius shrugged, pulling his hand away and meeting Remus’ eyes. “C’mon, Moons, don’t tell me you’re feeling all guilty about it. Food stealing awakens Big Bad Angry Moony, I knew that very well when I did it.” He aimed for casualness in his tone, turning his direction away from the confusing look on Remus’ face and towards his  _ own  _ plate of food. 

“Yeah, no, you’re right.” Moony grinned in a way that looked distressingly like a wince, and Sirius (for the umpteenth time that morning) found himself studying Remus’ face. Intensely. 

Remus Lupin had lots of different frowns. In fact, Sirius could pretty confidently say that Remus’ frowns were the most dynamic facial expression the boy had; he could frown at you without even actually frowning. For example when Sirius does something stupid like biting into a regular quill thinking it’s a sugar quill, Remus would raise a single eyebrow: a familiar and well known variation of the Remus Frown that usually translates to  _ “don’t think nobody saw that happen, you’re an idiot, Pads.”  _ Or when James and Sirius are plotting something they don’t quite want Moony to know about, he would stare at them completely blankly and unblinkingly until one of them breaks and tells him everything - this is another all-too-common variation of the Remus Frown that very succinctly says  _ “I am smarter than you and will know what you’re plotting in no time, so you may as well just tell me. You’re an idiot, Pads”.  _ However, Sirius’ least favourite Remus Frown is the Smile. The Smile comes only when someone has done or said something that genuinely upsets Remus, but he is far too polite to say so. 

And, Sirius hated to admit, Remus had whipped out the Smile at the breakfast table, but Sirius couldn’t for the life of him figure out why.

“Anyway,” Sirius was pulled out of his ruminations on Remus Lupin’s Frown by the sight of Moony throwing the entire contents of his breakfast plate (which was really rather a lot) into an overstuffed sandwich, and wrapping said sandwich in a napkin. “I’m going to head to the library, I’ve got something I want to read up on for that prank we were talking about.” And then, Remus did the Smile, hurt visible in his eyes but not on his face, before getting up and walking away from the Gryffindor table, monster sandwich in hand, without a word.

Unlike Remus, Sirius’ frowns were not exceptionally nuanced or communicative. No matter how minor the transgression, the same dark scowl would mar his features and (more likely than not) hang around for far longer than necessary. Where Remus’ frowns sent a very specific message (always some variation of  _ “You’re an idiot, Pads”)  _ Sirius’ frown said one thing and one thing only:  _ “I will bite.”  _ Generally, the only people who would approach Sirius while he was frowning were Remus Lupin and, more often and more irritatingly, James Potter.

“So what was the big idea in stealing Moony’s food?” James piped up, elbowing Sirius. “Like, what was the plan there - other than to piss him off, I guess.”

Sirius didn’t reply. He wasn’t listening. He was  _ frowning.  _

Unfortunately for Sirius, it took much more than a frown to deter Prongs, especially when it came to conflict between his friends. 

“I understand you’ve been doing this weird flirting thing with him for a while, and actually after last night’s weirdness it's looking like that  _ might  _ be working.” Prongs usually decided that speaking louder was the best way to get to Sirius while he was frowning. It usually worked. “But stealing his food after already being the main reason he was so hungover this morning? Not really on, is it mate?”

Sirius once described James Potter as a golden retriever: all too excitable and more than willing to make everything a game. In that moment, Sirius rescinded that description; it was more apt to describe James Potter as mould. He would grow on you, and once he was on you there was nothing you could do to get rid of him. One does not simply  _ remove  _ mould, just as one does not simply  _ ignore  _ James Potter. The best way to get Prongs to stop talking was to answer his millions of questions, rather than ignore them. Just as the best way to deal with mould is to simply embrace that it’s disgusting and move on, at least that was Sirius’ approach.

“Inhuman strength, Prongs.” Sirius lowered his voice, leaning closer to Prongs and Wormtail. “One of the characteristics of a werewolf that he has definitely just  _ proven!  _ I mean,” Sirius held up his wrist, now glaringly red. “ _ Look  _ at my wrist, it’s fucked. All that it took was a bit of stolen bacon to prove that, which means he’s definitely lying, which means I’m  _ definitely  _ getting the truth out of him!” 

“Merlin’s tits, Pads, are you fucking kidding me!” Prongs’ voice stood out, even amongst the loud conversations and sounds of breakfast all around them, and he drew a fair few eyes on the Gryffindor table.

Nobody would ever really call James Potter exceptionally intimidating. Intense? Definitely. Overbearing? Almost certainly. Ripe and overflowing with bravado? Not in so many words, but yes. But James Potter did not generally have a very intimidating presence until you messed with his friends or his family. He was overprotective to a fault, and would protect the people he loved to the death. And it was when James became protective that he became intimidating, it was the intensity of it all, and Sirius was all too familiar with that side of his best mate.

“Padfoot, I love you, you know that. But you’re bring a fucking idiot here.” Sirius’ frown, which had previously been lifting, only grew more intense. “Think about it for a second, rather than rushing into this shit cock first in that irritating way you like to do so much. This is  _ Moony  _ we’re talking about, Moony! He’s easily the second kindest of all of us and you’re being a dick to him!”

“Wait, who’s the kindest then?” Peter interrupted.

“Me, obviously!” Prongs threw his hands in the air in exasperation. Sirius couldn’t disagree. “Of course you want him to stop lying and trust us and tell us what the fuck is going on, but he’s  _ obviously  _ lying for a reason and you trying to poke the truth out of him like this looks a hell of a lot like you’re trying to expose him! And that’s probably exactly what he’s afraid of!”

Shit. Sirius hadn’t thought of it like that.

“I’m all for convincing him to just tell us the truth, Pads, and I’ll support you on that to an extent. But this is Moony we’re talking about here. He has the biggest self-persecution complex of anyone I’ve ever known and if he gets properly upset just because you’re selfishly trying to solve this riddle or whatever I’ll kill you, Pads. Not literally, but literally.”

Being told off by Prongs stung because he was almost always right and you almost always left the experience feeling monumentally guilty for being an arse. This particular scolding was no exception, and Sirius glared into his pumpkin juice, feeling monumentally guilty for being an arse.

“I get so stupid around him, Prongs,” Sirius muttered, “I want him to tell us and I thought that, if it was irrefutable facts facing him and he  _ saw  _ that we weren’t afraid of him or some bollocks that he’d feel comfortable enough to tell us.” Sirius looked up from his pumpkin juice, meeting James’ eyes. “I know it’s stupid and I’m probably coming off as such a selfish arse, but this doesn’t feel like a riddle to be solved for me. It did. But it doesn’t anymore. What would you do if it was Lily? You’d never let it go you’d do everything to get the truth out of her right? So that things could be better for her.”

“Pads…” The crease in James’ brow was almost indecipherable to Sirius. The expression held so much emotion, but for the life of him he couldn’t figure out what his friend was thinking. “Is Moony your Lily?”

“Yes.” Sirius found he didn’t even hesitate to answer, it came so naturally to him. “I’ve tried to tell you that I haven’t just been flirting with him for fun!”

“Huh. I always thought you were joking when you said that.”

“I’m always joking. But never about Moony.” Sirius asserted.

“Well then, I guess I have to help you now, as much as I can.” Prongs grinned, and Sirius’ frown fell completely from his face, which now held a shit-eating grin to mirror James’. “ _ But  _ no doing anything that would upset Moony.” Sirius nodded.

“Pads, Prongs, I’ve had a crazy idea.” Wormtail never really was one for heart-to-heart emotional chats. Where James and Sirius were as emotionally intense as they come, Peter was a little more uptight, and would more often than not listen, but not contribute to his friends’ emotional conversations. This unwillingness to talk did not, however, mean that Peter Pettigrew was emotionally unintelligent. In fact, Peter was extremely observant. He was good at understanding what made people tick and, on the rare occasions he became involved enough to give counsel, he gave really good advice. Unfortunately for Peter, his friends were idiots, and his advice too often fell on deaf ears. 

“How about, rather than trying to cajole the truth out of Moony like a bunch of fucking weirdos, you just respect his wishes to  _ not  _ tell us right now, and just be there for him when he decides he’s ready to tell you himself.” Peter’s single raised eyebrow betrayed the fact that he already knew to be true: he was not going to be listened to on this day. “Moony should be the one to tell you, not the other way round.”

Peter Pettigrew was an underrated genius, Sirius thought, his grin getting impossibly wider.  _ Of course  _ Moony should be the one telling them! It makes perfect sense!

“Peter Pettigrew you short, chunky lump of gold, you.” Sirius reached across James to ruffle Wormtail’s hair. “We need to get Moony to tell us himself! Prongs, what do you think about nabbing some veritaserum from Sluggy’s cupboards?”

“Ohhh…” Prongs had his planning face on, never a good sign. “We can definitely get some, but we can’t make Moony drink it. That’d be bad.” Sirius nodded sagely along. “BUT! What if  _ we  _ were the ones to take the veritaserum, and then Moony couldn’t deny it when we tell him that we’re super cool with him being a… you-know-what.”

“That would work!” Sirius was excited now. Not only did he have a plan that didn’t involve him hurting his wrist anymore, he also had a plan that was Ethically Sound, as approved by James Potter himself. “Wormtail, you’re a genius!”

If Sirius Black were even a little more observant, he would have noticed the fact that Wormtail had not joined in on their enthusiastic planning to get veritaserum, but was in fact sitting with his head in his hands, resigned to the fact that his friends were absolute fools.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's another headcanon nobody asked for: wormtail is not and never has been stupid.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do the kids these days still use Tumblr? Because I have one of those, and you should follow me on it. Send me messages. Send me memes. I don't bite, promise.  
> https://gobhobling.tumblr.com/  
> Please god I'm so bored.

_ Sirius Black enjoyed watching Remus Lupin. Perhaps, to some people, this watching may have been better described as stalking, but as far as Sirius was concerned, it was field research. Some muggle once said something apparently prolific about knowing your enemy, and while Remus was no enemy of Sirius’, he was definitely someone worth knowing. Which is what brought Sirius to add to his list of Important Things About Remus Lupin. _

  * _Remus Lupin was very, very sexy. And sexy was not a word Sirius used lightly. It was uncouth and very unbecoming of a pureblood, which is exactly why Sirius used it. That Remus Lupin was a very sexy man was hardly a revelation to Sirius, he knew this well; somehow around his cardigans and his jumpers and his folded socks and swottiness, Remus managed to be enticing. And after that fateful game of truth or dare, Sirius could ignore Remus’ sexiness no longer, not that he had ever been doing a good job of it in the first place._


  * Remus Lupin was a terrible prefect. Truly awful. It had been a shock to all the Marauders when Moony was made prefect. Hell, it had been a shock to the entirety of Gryffindor house. While Remus was swotty and nerdy and far too into his books and his studying and his tutoring, he had no more of a regard for the rules than any of the other Marauders, try as he may to act otherwise. This, plus that Marauder-like streak of mischief made Remus possibly the worst prefect Hogwarts had ever had. But this fact only served to work in the Marauders’ favour.



“Do you have - I don’t know - like a party trick?” Moony looked at the younger Hufflepuff with a bored expression, holding his place in his book with his index finger and not moving from his perch in the window. The corridors had been empty and his prefect duty had been uneventful, Sirius’ time spent watching him from under the invisibility cloak would have been deathly boring if Remus weren’t so pleasant to look at. But the silence of his duty had been broken by the appearance of a very guilty looking Hufflepuff second year, and a slew of very strange questions from Remus.

“...A party trick?” The Hufflepuff asked, her expression mirroring the confusion Sirius felt.

“A party trick.” Remus nodded, “I’m bored, can you do anything entertaining

enough for me to  _ forget  _ I saw you today, or do I have to give you a detention for being about after hours?” Sirius frowned, it couldn’t be natural to find a single raised eyebrow that attractive.

“Oh! Um…” It seemed the Hufflepuff had caught on. “I can do this?” Sirius couldn’t hear the incantation she muttered, but was appropriately unimpressed at the slightly squiggly shapes of light that emerged from her wand. The spell looked like a very,  _ very  _ rudimentary version of a charm Wormtail had invented that allowed you to make little puppets out of light. Like shadow puppets, but in reverse. Wormtail easily trounced the rest of the Marauders at charms, and their first few years had been spent enjoying the spells he made up, but the novelty had faded, and this Hufflepuff’s crude impression of the spell was underwhelming at best.

But it seemed to be enough for Remus, who sighed, reopened his book and said, “That’ll do. I never saw you, run along.” The Hufflepuff’s face lit up. “But don’t run into Lily Evans, she’s just around the corner and both of us will get in trouble if she spies you, got it?” 

Sirius found it endearing just how little Remus cared about being a prefect, he had no appetite for giving out detentions or deducting house points for something so minor as wandering the halls at night. When it came to dispersing real fights, Moony was great at his job, but hall monitoring never seemed to be his thing, and somehow he always found a way to spend most of it on his own, book in hand, pretending not to see people. Sirius knew that Evans would find it absolutely infuriating: she was a stickler for the rules, the ideal prefect, but Remus didn’t seem to care too much, so neither did Sirius.

Witnessing Remus’ conversation with the Hufflepuff had put Sirius in a very good mood, a welcome contrast to the increasingly intense frown that had been forming on his face all day. You see, Remus Lupin had been avoiding him ever since breakfast. Sirius had hardly been able to catch him in between classes to talk or even to simply acknowledge Sirius’ presence; and during classes, Moony had been very diligently  _ taking notes  _ and  _ paying attention _ , two things that Sirius had spent all day wishing he would simply do less of. But now, witnessing the terrible symbol of authority that was Remus Lupin behaving normally (or as normally as could be expected of any Marauder), Sirius couldn’t battle the smile off his face. Okay, Remus was still avoiding him technically, and would likely continue to do so for the rest of the night unless Sirius did something about it, but at least he wasn’t miserable.

Sirius continued to watch Remus under the safety of the cloak, he swore that at one point Moony looked straight at him, but under the cloak that would be impossible. He shrugged it off. Sirius followed him for the rest of his prefect duty and back into the common room - where Remus’ attention was quickly snapped up by a rather frantic looking fourth year desperately seeking revision help. Moony was far too good of a samaritan for Sirius’ liking, particularly as Sirius had finally shirked off the invisibility cloak in favour of some more direct interaction. 

The corner of the common room was a cluttered mess of desks, parchment, quills and textbooks populated by Gryffindor’s most stressed and most competent. Lily Evans and Remus Lupin ruled the roost in this corner of the room, as seventh years didn’t care to intervene with the youthful, panicked ramblings of their youngers, and Remus and Lily were by far the most generous and intelligent people Gryffindor house had to offer. 

Sirius usually knew better than to attempt to get any attention from Remus while he was crammed in the corner, talking his fellow students through homework or revision or a particularly difficult problem. Usually, Sirius would just deign to watch from a distance, and engage himself in a more fruitful game of gobstones or wizarding chess with Prongs or Wormtail. But the usual suspects were not around: Prongs was at extra Quidditch practice (not that he needed the extra time, he was simply a mad man) and Wormy was nowhere to be found. So, despite knowing better, Sirius sauntered over to the corner of the common room and plonked himself down in the much-coveted but unusually empty spot next to Remus.

“Wotcher, Moony.” Sirius couldn’t keep the smile off his face as he lent, taking up too much space by far, on the table. 

“Alright, Pads? Don’t imagine you’re here for homework help. Even though I  _ know  _ you haven’t even touched that essay Slughorn gave you.”

Sirius made an affirmative noise. “Old Sluggy’s a demanding mistress. I’m sure I’ll get it done eventually.”

“What, you mean when I leave my bag unattended so you can swipe mine, you-” Sirius scowled as Remus’ attention moved away from him and towards the rather keen looking fourth year sat on his other side. “One second, Pads.”

Sirius grumbled, not staying perturbed for all too long as he watched the expression on Moony’s face change. His entire body language opened up and his voice, usually stuck in a dry, sarcastic monotone, became more inflected and enthusiastic. Remus was a natural-born teacher, and Sirius was confident he could spend forever watching the other boy explain even the most dry and banal topic.

Or, Sirius supposed, he  _ could  _ watch him, if it weren’t for the intervention of the equally diligent but doubly annoying Lily Evans.

“Black, if you aren’t here to work go away.” Evans sniffed, “You’re a  _ distraction.”  _

If Sirius hadn’t been so committed to sticking his tongue out at Evans in retaliation, he may have taken the time to consider why the word ‘distraction’ was said so pointedly. He may also have noticed the way that Remus’ ears went a little pink as the boy pointedly stayed out of Lily’s reprimanding. But, as always, there were lots of things Sirius didn’t notice, however observant he thought he was.

“Just enjoying the view, Evans.” Sirius said, sticking his tongue back in his mouth and gently kicking Moony’s leg under the table.

Evans sniffed again, an action that Sirius knew all too well from Prongs’ constant pining ( _ “It’s adorable, not a single part of her perfect face goes unused! She’ll tell you how she’s feeling with her  _ nose,  _ Pads! How is that not cute?”).  _ Though Sirius struggled to find it quite as endearing as his friend did. But, like it or not Evans was committed to her study group, Sirius couldn’t help but admire the commitment, though he’d never admit it. And besides, he  _ was  _ a distraction.

“It’s fine, Lils, he’ll be quiet.” Remus looked away from the fourth year commanding his attention to give Sirius a pointed look. “ _ Right _ , Pads?”

“It’ll be tough,” Sirius sighed dramatically, resting his head in the crook of his elbow and looking up at Moony through his lashes. “But anything for you, Moony.” Remus’ flush never moved past his ears, and his facial expression remained schooled, but Sirius noticed the way he quickly looked away as if he daren’t hold Sirius’ gaze for too long and grinned to himself. Because Sirius Black was a shameless flirt, and flirting with Moony was like a drug he couldn’t get enough of.

Hell, Sirius thought,  _ Moony  _ was like a drug Sirius couldn’t get enough of. There were so many different faces to the other boy, and Sirius found himself willing and able to watch every version of Moony forever. He was a Marauder through and through - Sirius loved watching him in the throes of prank planning when his grins were boyish and mischievous. Remus had always been the more serious and mature of all the Marauders, it was like he was made to grow up much too fast, but when he was planning or enacting a prank, Sirius got to see him act his age and it was  _ beautiful.  _

Then there was Teacher Moony who, Sirius watched, was in the midst of explaining the 634th Goblin War to some enraptured second years, having moved on from the (now rather satisfied looking) fourth year from moments before. This Moony was a confident speaker, not needing sarcasm or even wit to hold an audience, it was impossible not to want to pay attention to him because he actually cared about what he was talking about. Moony had always had more of a proclivity for patience than Sirius, James or Peter could ever muster, and nowhere was it more clear than while he was explaining something to someone. Sirius generally found the younger students annoying and unremarkable but Remus took the time to learn their names and get to know them, and was widely loved in Gryffindor house because of it. Sirius loved watching Moony teach, and today was no exception.

But then there was the  _ other _ side of Moony. The one that had whispered in Sirius’ ear during truth or dare and looked at him with darkened eyes and an intense stare. This was a side of Moony that Sirius couldn’t think about in too much depth in polite company, and definitely not in the middle of the common room. This Moony was so cocksure and confident and  _ sexy  _ that Sirius found he didn’t quite know what to do with it. So he left it, locked in the corner of his mind that would only be opened at night, curtains firmly shut and silencing spell in place. 

“Oi, Pads, are you dead?” Sirius blinked, pulled from his thoughts by Moony’s hand on his shoulder, shaking him none too gently.

“Done being a professor, Moons?”

“Ah! He lives!” Remus was shoving books and papers into his bag, answering Sirius’ question wordlessly. “Here I thought I’d have to host auditions for a new Marauder in your stead.”

“As  _ if  _ you could replace me.” Sirius snorted.

“Yeah, it takes years of training to be that much of a pain in the ass.”

“Oh Moony, you know if you want me to be a pain in your ass you only have to ask.” Sirius jibed, only half joking.

Remus snorted, shoving the last quill in his bag. 

“So…” Sirius kept his tone casual, “Why've you been avoiding me all day, then?”

“What? I haven’t been avoiding you.”

Sirius rolled his eyes, finding Remus’ denial more endearing than frustrating. He knew very well by now how Moony worked: something would upset or bother him, he’d avoid the problem until he had it worked out in his head (which usually meant avoiding Sirius specifically), and then pretend it hadn’t happened at all.

“Oh please,” Sirius scoffed, “I’ve barely seen you since you walked out on breakfast with that weird fat sandwich of yours.”

“That sandwich was quite delicious, thank you very much.”

“Is it about my wrist?” Remus’ jaw clenched, and Sirius knew he had struck a nerve. “Because it doesn’t hurt anymore, it barely hurt in the moment so it’s not worth getting worked up over.”

Sirius could see how much Remus was trying to feign nonchalance as he threw his bag over his shoulder and stood up to move from the table; Sirius stood too.

“It’s not  _ about  _ anything, Sirius. I wasn’t avoiding you, I was just busy.” For such a good liar, Moony was a terrible liar.

“Would it make you feel better if I punched you in the face or something? Then we’re even.” 

Moony paused, and for a moment, Sirius really thought he was considering it. Until he noticed the telltale shake of Moony’s shoulders as he broke into peals of laughter. Sirius looked up awestruck at the slight flush that spattered Moony’s cheeks while he laughed.

“Sure,” Remus laughed, taking a half step closer to Sirius, “If you can reach.”

Sirius scowled, feeling none too offended. Ever since sixth year had started and Remus had stepped onto the Hogwarts Express an absolutely infuriating 6”2, he had made it his life goal to remind Sirius at every turn how short he was. At 5”10, Sirius wasn’t exactly  _ short,  _ but he did have to look up to see the shit-eating grin that had found its way onto Remus’ face, and that was more than enough to incite his ire. Or at least to provoke a counter attack.

Sirius pulled his fist back, sending it towards Moony’s face with just enough force to slightly infuriate a grindylow (which is to say, not much). His fist did not meet its mark, Remus caught it effortlessly, stepping closer still.

“Don’t start fights you can’t win, Pads.” Moony raised a challenging eyebrow, which did little to mask the blush that Sirius saw creeping onto his cheeks. Not that Sirius was in much of a position to comment, the pair were standing close enough that Sirius could feel the warmth radiating off of Moony’s body, and he knew his own cheeks easily matched Remus’ in colour. 

It would have taken absolutely nothing for Sirius to close the gap between them, to step up onto his toes and press his lips on Remus’. It would have been so easy for him to snake his hand into the other boy’s honey curls, and wrap his arm around his waist, deepening the kiss. Sirius’ felt his breath catch as he stared uselessly at Moony’s lips, plump and pink and chapped and not beyond kissing distance at all. If Sirius could just move a little closer, he could press Remus’ warm body against his own and say what he had been trying to say for far too long with confident lips instead of clumsy words. 

It would have been so easy for Sirius to do all of those things and more, but he did none of them.

Instead Sirius raised his left hand, the one Remus wasn’t holding, and smacked his friend on the cheek. He schooled his flustered expression into a mischievous grin and turned to flee from the consequences of his attack and from the dangerously close proximity with the other boy. 

“Hey!” Remus gasped, making after Sirius through the common room. Sirius slipped between groups of chatting Gryffindors, ducking past Prongs and Wormtail, who were seemingly involved in an intense game of gobstones. He glanced behind him, seeing Remus still in pursuit, and made to leap over the back of an unattended sofa. Mid-jump he felt his legs give way underneath him as a jelly-legs jinx hit him. Sirius was powerless to catch himself and fell, ungracefully, onto the sofa, landing on his back with a hard  _ oof!  _ and a chuckle.

Remus’ head popped over the back of the sofa, grinning that boyish grin Sirius loved so much. He lent over, slapping Sirius gently on the cheek. “Nice try, Padfoo- ah!” 

Sirius grabbed Remus’ wrist as he withdrew his hand and yanked. Hard. Sending the other boy tumbling over the back of the sofa with even less grace than Sirius had fallen moments before. Remus landed on Sirius’ chest, knocking the wind out of him.

Sirius’ pride at having caught the other boy unawares was short-lived as he became aware of the fact that Moony. Was on top of him. In the middle of the common room. Sirius had spent no short amount of time imagining Moony on top of him, but none of those situations were anything like this, and those situations  _ definitely  _ were not to be thought of at all because Moony was  _ on top of him.  _ If the proximity before had been enough to fluster Sirius, this was enough to damn near kill him. And it would have, if it weren’t for Prongs, in all his glory, completely ruining the moment.

“If you two are quite done shagging in the middle of the common room, I believe we have a prank to prepare for.” 

“Fuck- _ ing hell,  _ Padfoot.” Moony scrambled off of Sirius, looking put-out. “You’re going to fucking kill me one day.”


End file.
